that “one weird trick” phrase is never going to get old for me. Use this one weird trick to tie your shoes! Use this one weird trick to roast vegetables! I don’t know why I find that phrase so funny, but I do.
About a month ago, I got the worst case of acne of my adult life. Sure, I had zits as a teenager, but they mostly went away in my 20s and into my 30s. I’ve never had good skin, I’ve always battled a few zits here and there. And don’t be asking me stupid questions like “are you washing your face?” “are you eating too much chocolate or greasy food?” I just have easily clogged pores and very sensitive skin.
This stuff has been my go to zit fixer for years:
Smear a little on my face before bed and again in the morning, and within a few days I’m back to my regular “only a few zits instead of a lot” face.
but this breakout I had about a month ago? It was insane. I had zits on top of zits. On my hairline, on my cheekbones, on the side of my nose, under my eyebrows for goodness sakes!
I’m blaming my perfect storm of zittiness on this stuff:
If this tinted moisturizer works for you, I’m jealous of you. You can have mine.
I’ve never worn a lot of make up. Remember when you were in your late teens, and you discovered make up made you look older? And that when people thought you were older, they took you more seriously? I still have a baby face (the zits don’t help). People think I’m 5-8 years younger than I really am. I’m sure I’ll appreciate this when I’m at retirement age, but I’ve been in a professional management role for nearly 10 years. I need to look the part, and part of looking the part is putting on some fucking make up so I look like the other professional women in the company.
I usually have good luck with Neutrogena, the brand has a good reputation, and I didn’t have to go a specialty store to buy their product. Did it do what it was advertised to do? Sure did! it smoothed out all the redness on my face, made my zits less noticeable, and when I put some (also Neutrogena) pressed powder over top, i looked like a bona-fide grown up.
Then the zits from hell showed up. I stopped counting after 20, and those 20 were just the ones under my ears. I stopped wearing make up entirely for a week. Went to town with my Clean and Clear Advantage. Not much difference.
I even tried the home remedy of mixing baking soda with a little bit of water, putting it on your face like a mask and washing it off 10 minutes later. Was a fantastic exfoliate, and I even started seeing improvement on my zits from hell. Not only did the baking soda dry my skin out, it seemed to suck all the crap our as the water evaporated. A home brew Biore!
Then I remembered the summer camp trick of using white toothpaste on mosquito bites. Somehow the toothpaste helps lower the itchiness of bug bites, partly by drying your skin out. Could it work on my zits? Only way to know was the to try it.
And it worked!!
Or at least it’s been working better than the Clean and Clear, and better than a baking soda face mask. I don’t think it matters what brand toothpaste, it just needs to be the white paste kind, not the blue-green gel kind.
Here’s my definitive ranking of the acne treatments I used:
Clean and Clear advantage: Didn’t seem to make a dent in anything other than a tiny, baby, barely-there zit.
Baking soda + water face mask: Worked better than the Clean and Clear. Really helped get oil and other gunk off my skin. Took a LOT of rinsing to get off.
white paste toothpaste: After discovering this, I may never use another zit remedy again.
*I have no idea if putting toothpaste on your zits is safe. I’ve not had any negative affects. Your mileage my vary.